Inspired in part by Jonathan Lethem's practice of doing the same, I'm making available the lyrics to a few as-yet-unrecorded songs for musicians (and others) to confiscate, appropriate, obfuscate.  Have at 'em! 

"No News"

No news is good news, but no news from you / is like waiting for a stoplight to change from red to blue / it's like reading through your fiction and forgetting which words are true / no news is good news unless I'm old news to you / No press is bad press but bad press makes me feel better / how is it that grad student was photoed in your sweater? / it's not prying if you're lying and her smile's grown so big in my mind / no news is good news unless you've left me far behind / No news is good news but no news for days / is like sparking a campfire without getting to watch it blaze / it's like filling a novel with cliched turns of phrase / no news is good news unless you've picked up another stray / It's like viewing a rare blue moon through a blinding white haze / No news is "we're through" news / was I just a phase?

"Dumber"

I feel dumber when I'm with you / and getting number all the time / yet everytime I kiss you / it's something so sublime / I feel dumber when I'm with you /and getting so numb I can't stand / my IQ drops a dozen points / whenever I hold your hand / it's like smoking half a dozen joints / then working on my tan / I feel dumber when I'm with you / and getting number all the time / yet every time I miss you / I'm like some self-imprisoned mime / if only I could express myself / I just might blow your mind / but I feel dumber when I'm with you

"A Painter of Our Time"

He's a painter of our time / "I'll show you yours if you show me mine / That girl of yours is the perfect crime / and trust me I should know." / He's a painter of our time / his head is full but his heart is blind / his hands, they shake by half-past nine / "It's the only way to go." / He's a painter of our time / he'll drink your beer but prefers the wine / "That crap he paints ain't worth a dime." / It's a tricky line to tow   

"Snowing in South Philly"

It's snowing in South Philly / and parking spots are scarce / but the corner bar is staying open / for anyone who cares / me, I'm glad to hear it / because you got a jump on the storm / it's snowing in South Philly / but no one's here to keep me warm / I remember when I first met you / at a barbecue on Shunk / you looked a little like Ava Gardner / but then I was a little drunk / you spoke of Don DeLillo / and a book I hadn't read / and all the time I was imagining / what you'd look like in my bed / now it's snowing in South Philly / and the streetlights just came on / Sinatra's singing on the jukebox / and likely will be until dawn / me, I'm glad to hear it / though the song is bittersweet / it's snowing in South Philly / but no one's here to warm my feet / It's snowing in South Philly / where parking spots are scarce / but the corner bar is staying open / for anyone who dares / me, I'm glad to hear it / because you got a jump on the storm / it's snowing in South Philly / and you're not here to keep me warm / yes, it's snowing in South Philly / at least the weather's true to form  

"New Taboo"

Your body, an open book of revelation / and public displays of affectation / your mind, a big bear trap clamped round my heart / set me free and the real fun starts / We're crossing lines and breaking hearts / we're tempting fate in a mini-mart / wind up in church but not to confess / swear I just saw God underneath your dress / The new taboo / is me and you / Your eyes, a billboard in a gray waste land / watch me trash a lemonade stand / your mouth, parting lips like the famed Red Sea / empty promises up to my knees / We're crossing lines and breaking hearts / we're tempting fate in a shopping cart / wind up in church but not to confess / swear I just saw God underneath your dress / The new taboo / is me and you / take your time and think it through / the new taboo / is me and you / how high the ocean / how deep the moon / the new taboo / is me and you

"Skipping Stones"

Art for art's sake / sounds so smooth when it's way late / and the girl on your Tinder date / don't know Drizzy from Drake's cakes / but you know the deal / deep in your soul / you're trying to steal / stuff you already sold / Seize every day / sounds profound as a good hook / and that girl giving you the look / thinks Andrew Marvell wrote comic books / but you know the deal / deep in your bones / time, it ain't real / you're just skipping stones / yeah, you know the deal / deep in your bones / life, it just feels / like we're all skipping stones

"The Bride (A Web of Men)"

Nine feet tall / you top them all / made of glass / no tits, no ass / windowed soul / but who controls / all the locks / on your green box? / The Bride stripped bare by her Bachelors, even / three named John, six called Steven / Casanova's so over, Romeo is bleeding / she would if she could but she can't even / Nine feet high / our cloudy sky / shattered glass / no easy task / take control / your windowed soul / change the locks / on your green box /  The Bride stripped bare by her Bachelors, even / three named John, six called Steven / Casanova's so over, Romeo is bleeding / she could if she would but she can't even / The Bride stripped bare by her Bachelors, even / a web of men to believe in / Casanova's so over, Romeo is bleeding / so much blood, and what a waste of semen!

"The Last Bad Word"

The last bad word / the first good kiss / the umpteenth time we dance like this / the last sad song / the first good fight / the umpteenth time we trip the light / Sticks and stones may break our bones /but words will bury us both / sticks and stones are lovers' koans / but words won't bury your ghost / The last bad word / the first good fuck / the umpteenth time we push our luck / the last bad word / the first good fight / the umpteenth time we test our might / Sticks and stones may break our bones / but words will bury us both / sticks and stones and skeleton bones / are no match for your ghost / The last bad word / the first good kiss / the umpteenth time we lie like this to ourselves 

"Scenes from a Suburban Wasteland"

In summer, the lawn mowers / in autumn, the leaf blowers / in winter, the snow plows / it's spring--where are you now? / in summer, SUV stickers / in autumn, lollipop lickers / in winter, the snow is sooo pretty / how's life in the big city?

"Shoot Me Now"

Love's a many splintered thing / thorn in my side / swarm of bee stings / love's a game you play to lose / a two-faced coin / a choice you don't choose / Shoot me now / and I promise not to send you the bill / shoot me now  / and tell all your friends the chase ain't nothing compared to the kill / Love's a ride on a runaway train / short on track / long on blame / love's a late-night bear attack / playing dead / won't bring you back / Shoot me now / and I promise not to send you the bill / shoot me now / and tell all your friends the chase ain't nothing compared to the kill

"Trip"

Is this trip really necessary? / but gee your smile's extraordinary / "Life's a moving dictionary / all the entry words are us." / Will this trip really take me far? / but gee your smile's a shooting star / "Life's a ride in a flying cable car / not some coughing cross-town bus!" 

"Broken Phone"  

Broken phone / no ringtone / no-friend zone / all alone / lost my cool / by the pool / boy's a tool / broke the rules / he was seen / some trap queen / smashed the screen / a bad scene / broken phone / still as stone / way you moan / like my clone / lost my cool / by the pool / boy's a tool / me a fool? / broken phone / all alone / no-friend zone / float a loan?

"The Story of You and Me"

There's more to life than books / was what you said with just a look / but we both know that's a lie / "I gave and you just took" / was what you said without a look / and forgot to say goodbye / so I'm writing you a story / and I hope it helps you get to sleep / it's going to be full of guts and glory / because this is one promise I can keep / "You threw our love away" / was what you said on that hateful day / but we both know that's untrue / I could never be so blase / and for the record I have to say / I never wanted another version of you / still I'm writing you a story / and I hope it helps you get to sleep / it's going to be glorious and gory / but this is one promise that I can keep / yes I'm writing you a story / and what I sow I just might reap / it's going to be full of guts and glory / because it's the story of you and me    

"Skin Deep"

She's a walking carnival and all the games are rigged /you may win a prize and get behind those eyes / but what about that wig? / make-up only takes us so far / drop the act, I won't have no heart attack / if you show me who you are / She's a boardwalk built for two but the ocean's getting close / now, you may hurl from that Tilt-a-Whirl but tell me, who she spin the most? / shake-up only takes us so far / drop the front and all your silly stunts / and show me who you are / Step right up, step right up, everyone's a winner / Step right up to this lovin' cup, with every sip a sinner / You say a sucker's born every minute / but baby girl I'm here to win it / She's a walking carnival and all the games are fixed / you may win a prize and get behind those eyes / but smart money's on the Knicks / make-up only takes us so far / drop the act, I won't have no heart attack / if you show me who you are / shake-up only takes us skin deep / drop the front, no need to punt / girl, my company's to keep 

"Coffee Gurls"

Coffee gurls run the world / and no one seems to care / coffee gurls run the world / from their coffee lairs / coffee gurls run the world / but no one seems to mind / coffee gurls run the world / with their caffeine eyes / Double shots and polka dots / springtime in the air / coffee pots and selfie shots / of your platinum hair / Coffee gurls run the world / and no one even blinks / coffee gurls run the world / with caffeinated drinks / Too much foam, still on your phone? / springtime in the air / we'll take it slow, I'll buy a bow / for your platinum hair / Coffee gurls run the world / from their coffee lairs / coffee gurls run the world / with their fancy hair / coffee gurls, my heart's aswirl / I'm trying trying not to care / soon I'll meet you there

"Swap Meet"

I heard a rumor / tomorrow's today / so I put on my Pumas / and just walked away / Now you're searching for me on every side-street / and constantly checking your phone / I told you before, unlike a swap meet / I never tire of being alone / I saw a poster / "The future is now" / so I jumped in my roadster / to the tune of "Pow Pow" / Now you're searching for me at every swap meet / and constantly checking your phone / I told you before, unlike your cold feet / I got this fever keeps heating my bones / I heard a rumor / tomorrow's passe / so I bought some good humor / and melted away / Now you're searching for me on every side-street / and constantly checking your phone / I told you before, unlike a swap meet / you ain't got nothing that I need to own / It was a fair trade / Time to make lemonade / It was a fair trade / We can go our own way / Now you're searching for me at every swap meet / and constantly checking your phone / I told you before, unlike your cold feet / I got this fever won't leave me alone   

"Handsome Tonight"

Are you handsome tonight? / Is your alibi air-tight? / Do your clothes fit the pose / and your shoes shining bright? / Are you handsome tonight? / Is your stomach skin-tight? / Is your cologne on the nose / and your hair out of sight? / There's more to life than books / like catchy song hooks and too-long looks / There's more to life than books / Are you handsome tonight? / Is your alibi air-tight? / Is it hoes before bros / (even hoes sold at Lowe's) / and might before right? / There's more to life than books / like catchy song hooks and long, long looks / There's more to life than books / just ask all the girls that you forsook / There's more to life than books / Is your life like a kite? / Are you reaching new heights? / Are you handsome tonight?

"She (Not the Sea)"

Cockle Beach, back when we were kids / you were laughing hard, the way you did / bigger than boys, but far from men / my right-hand man, my only friend / then she appeared, and blew our minds / a bikini-ed blonde, maybe twenty-five / singing to herself an old love song / her voice was strong, her hair was long / and along the beach, no one said a word / I remember there were lots of kids, I remember squawking birds / the waves were rolling across the shore like a stampeding bison herd / but it was she and not the sea we heard / The sand was gray, the sky bright blue / you looked at me, I looked at you / I saw you decide the manly thing to do / and watched you wander off to learn the tune / because she appeared, and it blew your mind / a bikini-ed blonde, maybe twenty-five / singing to herself an old love song / her voice was strong, her legs were long / and all along the shore, no one said a word / I remember there were lots of kids, I remember squawking birds / the waves were beating up the beach like bullies fighting nerds / but it was she and not the sea you heard / you disappeared, and it blew my mind / a bikini-ed blonde, maybe twenty-five / singing to herself love's old sweet song / her voice was strong, my old self, gone 

"High Demand"

Why does every guy I meet / try to take me in off of the street? / they don't know the lessons I've learned / how hearth and home is where I get burned / Why does every girl I kiss / tempt me with scenes of domestic bliss? / they don't know the price I've paid / the stuff I've done just to get laid / People who say they want my number / only want to pull me under / people who say the need my address / should be put on house arrest / Ever since I joined a band / I'm in high demand / Why does every stray Helveticat / haunt my life like some ghostly Snapchat? / they don't know the snaps I've sent / the selfies used to pay the rent / People who say they got my number / only want to tear me asunder / people who say they found my address / should be put on house arrest / Ever since I joined a band / I'm in high demand / ever since I joined a band / I've been on the lam / ever since I joined a band / I just can't understand / I'm in high demand